For Spiritual Leadership-You need a Spiritual Master undoubtedly.

Who is the spiritual leader of the house? The man or the woman? Dancing with Siva states: "The husband is, first, an equal participant in the procreation and upbringing of the future generation. Second, he is the generator of economic resources necessary for society and the immediate family. The husband must be caring, understanding, masculine, loving, affectionate, and an unselfish provider, to the best of his ability and through honest means. He is well equipped physically and mentally for the stress and demands placed upon him. When he performs his dharma well, the family is materially and emotionally secure. Still, he is not restricted from participation in household chores, remembering that the home is the wife's domain and she is its mistress."

If this happens, everything works out naturally in the home in a very harmonious way. If this does not occur, then the pranic forces do not flow as well for the family. Why? Because the stabilizing influence of the pranas, under control and well balanced, has not come to pass. As a result, there can be no effective invoking of God, Gods and guru. Arguments, rude and harsh words fly back and forth, children are maltreated, and backbiting of the husband, relatives, friends and neighbors is not uncommon. Adultery with prostitutes or casual pickups tempt, distract and burden the husband with guilt, especially during his wife's monthly retreat and during pregnancy. The life of a family going through such karmas is chaos. The children, who modern psychiatrists and ancient seers say are guided by the example of their parents, are thrown overboard, as from a ship they safely boarded with full confidence. Reality points out that there are no, never have been, nor ever will be, delinquent children. Delinquent parents are the culprits--"the parents are what is wrong with society; children are only guilty of being guided by their example."

The wise men of ancient times understood how the pranic life forces flow within man and woman. They knew that the family man's being in the sushumna current stabilizes the forces of the home. If he is meditating and going within himself, his wife will not have to meditate as much. She and the children will go within to their Divinity automatically on the power of his meditation. If he radiates peace, Divinity and confidence, they will too, without trying, without even being conscious of it.

One thing to remember: the family man is the guru of his household. If he wants to find out how to be a good guru, he just has to observe his own satguru, that is all he has to do. He will learn through observation. Often this is best accomplished by living in the guru's ashram periodically to perform sadhana and service. Being head of his home does not mean he is a dominant authority figure, arrogantly commanding unconditional obedience, such as Bollywood and Hollywood portrays. No. He must assume full responsibility for his family and guide subtly and wisely, with love always flowing. This means that he must accept the responsibility for the conditions in the home and for the spiritual training and unfoldment of his wife and children. This is his purusha dharma. To not recognize and follow it is to create much kukarma, bad actions bringing back hurtful results to him in this or another life.

Source K.H.M