Monday, August 16, 2010

Man & Marriage


Man & marriage
Long live Bachelors !!!!(Read it in lighter vein as 99% if men reading this are victims and 100% women rest their head on their man's lap(lap top) using their hand as mouse


Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should
be happier than others.

Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.


Men have a better time than women; for one thing,
they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.

When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,you can be sure of one thing..............................

either the car is new or the wife.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding
her way back to home always.


I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our
anniversary? " She said,"Somewhere I have never been!".....................and I told her..............................

"How about the kitchen?"


We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.
That was only for the estimate.


She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then
the mud fell off.


She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too
late for the garbage?"
Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in."


Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuse to get to married.
He says "the wedding rings look like minature
handcuffs... .."



If your dog is barking at the back door and your
wife yelling at the frontdoor, who do you let in first? ..................
The Dog of course... at least he'll shut up after you let him in!


A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly
parted mother and started back toward his car when his attention was
diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be
praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to
die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir,
I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this
demonstration of pain in is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so? Deeply?...................

A child? A parent?"The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then
replied "My wife's first husband."


A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband
leaned over, made a wish and threw in a coin .
The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned
over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned
for a while but then smiled "It really works ! "



There's nothing you can not do.................

There's nothing you cannot do......................................

There's nothing to fear, you're as good as the best.
As strong as the mightiest, too.
You can win in every battle or test.
For there's no one just like you.
There's only one you in the world today.
So nobody else, you see.
Can do your work in as fine a way.
You’re the only you there’ll be.
So face the world, and all life is yours.
To conquer and love and live.
And you’ll find the happiness that endures.
In just the measure you give.
There's nothing too good for you to possess.
Nor heights where you cannot go.
Your power is more than belief or guess.
It is something you have to know.
There is nothing to fear, you can and you will.
For you are the invincible you.
Set your foot on the highest hill.
There's nothing you cannot do..........................And

Remember............................

Knowing is not doing, Doing is not doing, Knowing & Doing is doing

The purpose of life should be................................

"The purpose of Life should be a Life of Purpose...........................


Leave an indelible mark,unforgettable & erasable Impression.

Live life to the fullest. True and honest, begin with yourself and extend it to others. Use your words wisely. Words have power and create influence, do not spread them carelessly. Negative words create negative energy and repel those around you. Live in the positive.

Leave your 'stamp' on everything you do. Make yourself an icon to be admired and respected. Become an inspiration to others-so think carefully before you speak and act. Every action, every word carries a consequence. Create a genuineness about you that is addictive to all those who meet you.

And finally, leave a mark on those you meet that couldn't have been left if you weren't in their lives.


Leave A Mark

Live life to the fullest. True and honest, begin with yourself and extend it to others. Use your words wisely. Words have power and create influence, do not spread them carelessly. Negative words create negative energy and repel those around you. Live in the positive.

Leave your 'stamp' on everything you do. Make yourself an icon to be admired and respected. Become an inspiration to others-so think carefully before you speak and act. Every action, every word carries a consequence. Create a genuineness about you that is addictive to all those who meet you.

Finally, leave a mark on those you meet that couldn't have been left if you weren't in their lives................................................And

“Never take someone for granted. Hold every person close to your heart and in high esteem because you might wake up one day and realise that you have lost a diamond, while you were busy collecting stones."

Life is about balance...................Read & Live by

Life is about balance.........Read & Live by

A long time ago, there was an Emperor who told his most loyal horseman that if he could ride on his horse and cover as much land area as he likes, then the Emperor would give him the area of land he has covered.

Sure enough, the horseman quickly jumped onto his horse and rode as fast as possible to cover as much land area as he could. He kept on riding and riding, whipping the horse to go as fast and as far as possible. When he was hungry or tired, he did not stop because he wanted to cover as much area as possible.

There came to a point when he had covered a substantial area of land and he and his horse were exhausted and close to death. He then he asked himself, 'Why did I pushed myself so hard to cover so much land area? Now I am close to death and I only need a very small area for me to be buried in.'
This story is similar to the journey of our life. We push very hard everyday to make more money, to gain power, recognition, wealth and possessions. In doing so we often neglect our health, taking time out with our family, stopping to appreciate the surrounding beauty and the hobbies and past times we love to do. One day when we look back, we may well realise that we didn't really need that much after all, but by then we cannot turn back time for what we have missed.
Life is not about making money, acquiring power or recognition and it is definitely not about work! Work is only necessary to keep us living so as to enjoy the beauty and pleasures of life that surround us.
Life is a balance of work and play, family and personal time. You have to decide how you want to balance your life, define your priorities, realise what you are able to compromise but always let some of your decisions be based on your instincts. In the end our happiness is the meaning and the purpose of our life, and for that matter the whole aim of human existence.

So, take it easy, do what you want to do and appreciate nature and your surroundings. Life is fragile and short and not to be taken for granted. Live life to the fullest, and ensure that it is balanced and you enjoy every moment.

The Best Friend of Man is..............................

The "Best Friend" of Man?????.............................His Wife..........read to know.

The Yaksha asked,-

What is the soul of man?

Who is that friend bestowed on man by the gods?

What is man's chief support?

And what also is his chief refuge?

Yudhishthira answered...........................

The son is a man's soul:

the wife is the friend bestowed on man by the gods;

the clouds are his chief support;

and gift is his chief refuge.

It is the cardinal concept of Indian life that one's son is just the external growth of oneself, to be loved, to be possessed, to be trained and to be cherished as one would do for himself. The srutis say, when a son is born, while performing his samskaras, we have to tell him that you are born as a part of myself..aatma vai putra naamasi.. (here again gender is not important... it applies to the daughter also... ) .

The best friend ordained by God himself for any man is his wife. Good or bad, learned or imbecile the man is, the poor woman always keeps his company. (The feminists may have a different view, but in our country the vast majority is like that. For the support of ones livelihood in this earth, the clouds that pour the nectar of pure water to sustain the earth and the life on it, is the most important factor. A man gains sustenance in the nether world by making bounteous gifts to the needy in this world and there for it is his refuge.

Sometimes gift come as a refuge for the poor on this earth when it is recieved by the needy.

Enjoy Life at.........................................

ENJOY LIFE AT EVERY MOMENT...................WEEK END READING.

Once a fisherman was sitting near seashore, under the shadow of a tree smoking his beedi. Suddenly a rich businessman passing by approached him and enquired as to why he was sitting under a tree smoking and not working.

To this the poor fisherman replied that he had caught enough fishes for the day.

Hearing this the rich man got angry and said: Why don’t you catch more fishes instead of sitting in shadow wasting your time?

Fisherman asked: What would I do by catching more fishes?

Businessman: You could catch more fishes, sell them and earn more money, and buy a bigger boat.

Fisherman: What would I do then?

Businessman: You could go fishing in deep waters and catch even more fishes and earn even more money.

Fisherman: What would I do then?

Businessman: You could buy many boats and employ many people to work for you and earn even more money.

Fisherman: What would I do then?

Businessman: You could become a rich businessman like me.

Fisherman: What would I do then?

Businessman: You could then enjoy your life peacefully.
Fisherman: What do you think I’m doing right now?


MORAL – You don’t need to wait for tomorrow to be happy and enjoy your life. You don’t even need to be more rich, more powerful to enjoy life. LIFE is at this moment, enjoy it fully.

As some great men have said “My riches consist not in extent of my possessions but in the fewness of my wants”.And finally..................

Words of Wisdom:

"Happiness does not consists in things, but in thoughts."

This is English Language......................

THIS IS ENGLISH ONLY THE BRITISH COULD HAVE INVENTED THIS LANGUAGE..............

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,

But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,

Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,

Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,

Then shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,

And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,

Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,

Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,

And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,

But though we say mother, we never say methren
.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,

But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;

neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England ..

We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,

we find that quicksand can work slowly,

boxing rings are square,

and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,

grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends
and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English

should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.

We have noses that run and feet that smell.

We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.

And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language

in which your house can burn up as it burns

down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out,

and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?

I WOULD LIKE TO ADD THAT IF PEOPLE FROM POLAND ARE CALLED POLES THEN

PEOPLE FROM HOLLAND SHOULD BE HOLES AND THE GERMANS GERMS!!!

Winner Never Quits.....

Winners never quits!...............................Be a Winner
>
> In 1962, four nervous young musicians played their first
> record audition for the executives of the Decca Recording
> Company. The executives were not impressed. While turning
> down this group of musicians, one executive said, "We don't
> like their sound. Guitars are on the way out." The group was
> called The Beatles.
>
> When Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, he tried over
> 2000 experiments before he got it to work. A young reporter
> asked him how it felt to fail so many times. He said, "I
> never failed once. I invented the light bulb. It just
> happened to be a 2000-step process."
>
> Wilma Rudolph was the 20th of 22 children. She was born
> prematurely and her survival was doubtful. When she was 4
> years old, she contacted double pneumonia and scarlet fever,
> which left her with a paralyzed left leg. At age 9, she
> removed the metal leg brace she had been dependent on and
> began to walk without it. By 13 she had developed rhythmic
> walk, which doctors said was a miracle. That same year she
> decided to become a runner. She entered a race and came in
> last. For the next few years every race she entered, she
> came in last. Everyone told her to quit, but she kept on
> running. One day she actually won a race. And then another.
> From then on she won every race she entered. Eventually this
> little girl, who was told she would never walk again, went
> on to win three Olympic gold medals.
>
> Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only
> through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be
> strengthened, ambition inspired and success achieved.
>
> You gain strength, experience and confidence by every
> experience where you really stop to look fear in the face.
> And remember, the finest steel gets sent through the hottest
> furnace. A winner is not one who never fails, but one who
> NEVER QUITS IN LIFE.
>

Three things....................................

Three Things.......................A good one

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back - Time, Words and Opportunity.

Three things in life that can destroy a person - Anger, Pride and Unforgiveness.

Three things in life that you should never lose - Hope, Peace and Honesty.

Three things in life that are most valuable - Love, Family & Friends and Kindness.

Three things in life that are never certain - Fortune, Success and Dreams.

Three things that make a person - Commitment, Sincerity and Hard Work.

Inspiring Truths..................

Inspiring Truths......Please Read & Remember....................


Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a "steering wheel" that directs the right path throughout.

Do you know why a Car's WINDSHIELD is so large & the Rearview Mirror is so small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. Look Ahead and Move on.

Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write.

All things in life are temporary. If going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong, don't worry, they can't last long either.

Old Friends are Gold! New Friends are Diamond! If you get a Diamond, don't forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a Base of Gold!

Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and says, "Relax, sweetheart, it's just a bend, not the end!

When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn't solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities.

A blind person asked : "Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?"
Reply: "Yes, losing your vision!"

When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them, and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.

WORRYING does not take away tomorrows' TROUBLES, it takes away todays' PEACE..................................................

"DO NOT WORRY ,KEEP MOVING & DOING HAPPILY"

J.K

Seven Vows in the Hindu Wedding........................

MARRIAGES ARE SAID TO BE MADE IN HEAVEN...... BUT THE SEVEN VOWS ARE REQUIRED TO BE PRACTISED ON EARTH.......

JK

Seven Vows in the Hindu Weddimg.....Read to know , remember & practise.

Hindu wedding is all about rituals and customs, which teach us the actual essence of a blissful married life. The seven vows of marriage symbolize seven promises, which are sworn by the bride and the groom during the auspicious ceremony of wedding.

During the marriage, a sacred fire is created with ghee and wooden sticks, in order to evoke Agni (fire god), which serves as the witness to the ritual of seven vows. The priest, who conducts the wedding, chants Vedic mantras. Amidst the blazing fire of the havankund and the chanting of mantras, the bride and the groom pledge their commitment to each other, for the lifetime. Known as Saptapadi/pheras, seven vows is a beautiful ritual observed in Hindu marriages, although the act of taking the seven vows varies from region to region, in India.

People following Hinduism believe that if a married couple walks seven steps around the fire of the havankund, they will remain together for the lifetime. Generally, before taking the seven vows, the bride is seated to the right hand side of the groom. After taking the pheras, the bride shifts to the left side of the groom - this symbolizes that she is now closer to his heart.

In most of the Hindu weddings, the newly married couple takes seven pheras, with the exception of Gujaratis and Sindhis, who take four pheras around the sacred fire. In the majority of the seven pheras, the groom leads the first four pheras, while he is preceded by the bride during the last three pheras. Given below are the meanings of the seven vows of marriage.


Seven Vows In Hindu Wedding

* The bride and the groom take the first step of the seven vows to pledge that they would provide a prospered living for the household or the family that they would look after and avoid those that might hinder their healthy living.

* During the second step of the seven pheras, the bride and the groom promise that they would develop their physical, mental and spiritual powers in order to lead a lifestyle that would be healthy.

* During the third vow, the couple promises to earn a living and increase by righteous and proper means, so that their materialistic wealth increases manifold.

* While taking the fourth vow, the married couple pledges to acquire knowledge, happiness and harmony by mutual love, respect, understanding and faith.

* The fifth vow is taken to have expand their heredity by having children, for whom, they will be responsible. They also pray to be blessed with healthy, honest and brave children.

* While taking the sixth step around the sacred fire, the bride and the groom pray for self-control of the mind, body and soul and longevity of their marital relationship.

* When the bride and the groom take the seventh and the last vow, they promise that they would be true and loyal to each other and would remain companions and best of friends for the lifetime.

Ten commandments of marriage......................

Ten Commandments of Marriage...............To read in a lighter vein pl

Commandment 1.

Marriages are made in heaven.
But so again, are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2.

If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say,
talk in your sleep.


Commandment 3.

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!


Commandment 4.

Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage,
the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks
and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and
the neighbours listen.


Commandment 5.

When a man opens the door of his car
for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife is.


Commandment 6.

Marriage is when a man and woman
become as one; the trouble starts when
they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake
all night thinking about something you
said.. After marriage, he will fall asleep
before you finish.


Commandment 8.

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful,
understanding, economical, and a good
cook. But the law allows only one wife.


Commandment 9.

Every woman wants a man who is handsome,
understanding, economical and a considerate
lover, but again, the law allows only
one husband.


Commandment 10.

Man is incomplete until he marries.
After that, he is finished.


Bonus Commandment story..................

A long married couple came upon a wishing well.
The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The husband decided to make a wish too.

But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"

What Happens in the Heaven..........................

WHAT HAPPENS IN HEAVEN..................PL READ TO KNOW


I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels.


My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, 'This Is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to GOD said in prayer are Received..'

I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world..

Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section.


The angel then said to me, 'This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them.'


I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth


Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the Door of a very small station To my great surprise, only one angel was Seated there, idly doing nothing. 'This is the Acknowledgment Section,' My angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed 'How Is it that there is no work going on here?' I asked.


'So sad,' the angel sighed. 'After people receive the blessings that they asked For, very few send back acknowledgments .'


'How does one acknowledge GOD's blessings?' I asked.


'Simple,' the angel answered. Just say, 'Thank you, LORD.'


'What blessings should they acknowledge?' I asked.


'If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy .'


'And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity.'

Also ......


' If you woke up this morning with more health than illness ... You are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day .'


'If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation .. You are ahead of 700 million people in the world.'


'If your parents are still alive and still married ...you are very rare .'

'If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you're unique to all those in doubt and despair.'

Ok, what now? How can I start?


If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.



Acknowledge Dept.: 'Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people to share it with.

If you Love powerful words........You must read this.

Date: Saturday, 3 July, 2010, 7:34 AM

Dear all,

Doctor Manmohan Singh is an honourable man. He is fit to be a Professor Emeritus of Delhi school of Economics or other such institution world-over. But he does not appear to be a Prime minister who commands respect, awe and acceptability! He can not take one step forward without 'ishara' from his party boss. Just as Bihar was ruled by Laloo Prasad by making his wife as CM, the Nation is being ruled by nationalised aliens through him. That is as simple as that. Who cares for the 'Letters to PM'? It will logically find its place in the Waste Paper Basket. Somebody else decides what all PM can read.


But if you show this letter to Manmohan Singh to read, he will turn Blind and if you read it out to him to hear he will turn Deaf...........no use my dear that's the fate of INDIA. We were better in the hands of Britishers rather than being amidst Lalloos,Chid Am Barams , Man Mohan's, last but not least Soni ass and last with a big bunch of remaining ministiral and bureocratic medeocres.

Keep sufferring yaah..................... having cast your valuable Vote to him/his party

For some people fate come on its own and no option but to take it but for majority of Indians it is invited by themselves so welcome with "poornakumbam" and garlands.


Must Read! Very Powerfully Worded..................................

LETTER OF THE EDITOR OF "THE TIMES OF INDIA" TO THE PRIME MINISTER OF INDIA



Dear Mr. Prime minister,

I am a typical mouse from Mumbai. In the local train compartment which has capacity of 100 persons, I travel with 500 more mice. Mouse at least squeaks, but we don't even do that.

Today I heard your speech, in which you said, 'NO BODY WOULD BE SPARED'. I would like to remind you that fourteen years have passed since serial bomb blasts in Mumbai took place. Dawood was the main conspirator. Till today he is not caught. All our Bollywood actors, our builders, our Gutka king keep meeting him, but your Government can not catch him. Reason is simple; all your ministers are hand in glove with him. If any attempt is made to catch him, everybody will be exposed. Your statement 'NOBODY WOULD BE SPARED' is nothing but a cruel joke on these unfortunate people of India.

Enough is enough. As such, after seeing terrorist attack carried out by about a dozen young boys, I realize that if same thing continues, days are not far away when terrorists will attack by air, destroy our nuclear reactors and there will be one more Hiroshima.

We the people are left with only one mantra. Womb to Bomb to Tomb. You promised Mumbaikar Shanghai; what you have given us is Jalianwala Baug.

Today only your home minister resigned. What took you so long to kick out this joker? Only reason was that he was loyal to Gandhi family. Loyalty to Gandhi family is more important than blood of innocent people, isn't it?

I am born and brought up in Mumbai for last fifty eight years. Believe me, corruption in Maharashtra is worse than that in Bihar. Look at all the politicians, Sharad Pawar, Chagan Bhujbal, Narayan Rane, Bal Thackray , Gopinath Munde, Raj Thackray, Vilasrao Deshmukh all are rolling in money. Vilasrao Deshmukh is one of the worst Chief ministers I have seen. His only business is to increase the FSI every other day, make money and send it to Delhi, so Congress can fight next election. Now the clown has found new way and will increase FSI for fishermen, so they can build concrete houses right on sea shore. Next time terrorists can comfortably live in those houses, enjoy the beauty of the sea and then attack our Mumbai at their will.

Recently, I had to purchase a house in Mumbai. I met about two dozen builders. Everybody wanted about 30% in black. A common person like me knows this and with all your intelligent agency & CBI, you and your finance ministers are not aware of it. Where all the black money goes? To the underworld isn't it? Our politicians take help of these goondas to vacate people by force. I myself was victim of it. If you have time please come to me, I will tell you everything.

If this has been a land of fools, idiots, then I would not have ever cared to write to you this letter. Just see the tragedy. On one side we are reaching moon, people are so intelligent; and on the other side, you politicians have converted nectar into deadly poison. I am everything Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Schedule caste, OBC, Muslim OBC, Christian Schedule caste, and Creamy Schedule caste; only what I am not is INDIAN. You politicians have raped every part of Mother India by your policy of divide and rule.

Take example of our Former President Abdul Kalam. Such an intelligent person; such a fine human being. But you politician didn't even spare him. Your party along with opposition joined hands, because politicians feel they are supreme and there is no place for good person.

Dear Mr Prime minister, you are one of the most intelligent persons, a most learned person. Just wake up, be a real SARDAR. First and foremost, expose all selfish politicians. Ask Swiss banks to give names of all Indian account holders. Give reins of CBI to independent agency. Let them find wolves among us. There will be political upheaval, but that will be better than dance of death which we are witnessing every day.Just give us ambience where we can work honestly and without fear. Let there be rule of law. Everything else will be taken care of.

Choice is yours Mr. Prime Minister. Do you want to be lead by one person, or you want to lead the nation of 100 Crore people?

Prakash B. Bajaj

Editor Mumbai-Times of India

PLEASE READ N FORWARD TO AS MANY PEOPLE IN YOUR CONTACT LIST

PS: This is JK Dear

Our PM would opt foe the former rather than latter. He does'nt bother who leads whom as long as he is comfortable and personally contended with his poweful chair/very big house with all facilities and paraphanalia. Probably he must be buttering/soaping for the next five years of tenure................that's the mettle he is made out of and don't try to disturb him with your words "Who leads whom and all"...................Its of no use.

I am writing this withpout any prejudice whatsoever..............as i feel I have the right and freedom of expression.

What makes A Father...................THE GREAT

What Makes a "Father."...............................The Great

God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,

The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle's flight,

The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,

Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, He called it .................. "Father"......The Great

Life Should be like that.......Read below

Simplicity is Life..............

Simple Living & High Thinking.....................Life should be like that

Life is need base never want base. Desires have no ends. Simplicity is way of life and human culture highly stresses on simple living and high thinking, and this is the way of life: Legs down to earth and eyes looking beyond the sky...................and to achieve simplicity in life......................to achieve

"Simplicity" in life.....................

Simplify your needs

Amplify your work

Certify your conduct

Glorify your future

Nullify your greed

Justify your expenses

Magnify your mind

&

Rectify your mistakes.

Can I borrow Rs.25/-...........

Can I borrow Rs.25/-...............................

A woman came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find her 5-year old son waiting for her at the door.

SON: 'Mummy, may I ask you a question?'

MUM: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the woman.

SON: 'Mummy, how much do you make an hour?'

MUM: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the woman said angrily.

SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'

MUM: 'If you must know, I make R 50 an hour.'

SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: 'Mummy, may I please borrow Rs.25?'

The mother was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities. '

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door..

The woman sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the woman had calmed down , and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that Rs.25.00 and she really didn't ask for money very often.The woman went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

'Are you asleep, son?' She asked.

'No Mummy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.

'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the woman. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the Rs.25 you asked for.'

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you Mummy!' he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The woman saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his mother.

'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the mother grumbled.

'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.

'Mummy, I have Rs.50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'

The mother was crushed. She put his arms around her little son, and she begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that Rs.50 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives......................& YOU HAVE GOT TO BELIEVE IT

Diabetic Cure.................Its amazing & true........

diabetic cure - its amazing but true.



Please do read and use it


A woman (65) was diabetic for the last 2+ years and was taking insulin twice a day,
she used the enclosed homemade medicine for a fortnight and now
she is absolutely free of diabetes and taking all her food as normal including sweets ............. ......... .

The doctors have advised her to stop insulin and any other blood sugar controlling drugs.

I request you all please circulate the email below to as many people as you can and
let them take the maximum benefit from it.


AS RECEIVED :

Sheikh Saleh Mohammed Tuwaijiri , the Supreme judge of Tabuk Court has made the extensive.

experiments with perseverance and patience and discovered a successful treatment for diabetes.

Now a days a lot of people, old men & women in particular suffer a lot due to Diabetes.

Ingredients:..................
1 – Wheat flour 100 gm
2 – Gum(of tree) (gondh) 100 gm
3 – Barley 100 gm
4 – Black Seeds (kalunji) 100 gm

Method of Preparation Put all the above ingredients in 5 cups of water.
Boil it for 10 minutes and put off the fire. Allow it to cool down by itself.
When it has become cold, filter out the seeds and preserve the water in a glass
jug or bottle.

How to use it? Take one small cup of this water every early morning when your stomach is empty.
Continue this for 7 days. Next week repeat the same but in alternate days with these
2 weeks of treatment you will wonder to see that you have become normal to eat normal food without problem.

Note: A request is to spread this to as many as possible so that others can also take
benefit out of it.

Onions......................Pl Read Fully.

A very interesting topic - read till the end....................


ONIONS...................................

In 1919 when the 'flu killed 40 million people there was this Doctor who visited many farmers to see if he could help them combat the flu. Many of the farmers and their family had contracted it and many died.

The doctor came upon one farmer and to his surprise, everyone was very healthy. When the doctor asked what the farmer was doing that was different, the wife replied that she had placed an unpeeled onion in a dish in the rooms of the home, (probably only two rooms back then).

The doctor couldn't believe it and asked if he could have one of the onions. She gave him one, which he placed under the microscope. He found the 'flu virus in the onion. It had obviously absorbed the bacteria, thereby keeping the family healthy.

Now, I heard this story from my hairdresser in AZ. She said that several years ago many of her employees were coming down with the flu and so were many of her customers.

The next year she placed several bowls with onions around in her shop and, to her surprise, none of her staff got sick. It must work... and no, she is not in the onion business.

The moral of the story is, buy some onions and place them in bowls around your home. If you work at a desk, place one or two in your office or under your desk or even on top somewhere. Try it and see what happens. We did it last year and we never got the flu.
If this helps you and your loved ones from getting sick, all the better. If you do get the flu, it just might be a mild case. What have you to lose? Just a few bucks on onions..!!!

Now there is a P.S. to this...

I sent it to a friend in Oregon who regularly contributes material to me on health issues and she replied with this most interesting experience about onions:

Weldon, thanks for the reminder. I don't know about the farmers story, but I do know that I contacted pneumonia and needless to say I was very ill. I came across an article that said to cut both ends off an onion, put one end on a fork and then place the forked end into an empty jar...placing the jar next to the sick patient at night. It said the onion would be black in the morning from the germs. Sure enough it happened just like that... the onion was a mess and I began to feel better.

Another thing I read in the article was that onions and garlic placed around the room saved many from the black plague years ago. They have powerful antibacterial and antiseptic properties.


This is the other note.

LEFT OVER ONIONS ARE POISONOUS

I have used an onion which has been left in the fridge, and sometimes I don't use a whole one at one time, so save the other half for later.

Now with this info, I have changed my mind....will buy smaller onions in the future.

When food poisoning is reported, the first thing the officials look for is when the 'victim' last ate ONIONS and where those onions came from (in the potato salad?). It's probably the onions, and if not the onions, it's the POTATOES.

Onions are a huge magnet for bacteria, especially uncooked onions. You should never plan to keep a portion of a sliced onion. It's not even safe if you put it in a zip-lock bag and put it in your refrigerator. It's already contaminated enough just by being cut open and out for a bit, that it can be a danger to you.

If you take the leftover onion and cook it like crazy you'll probably be okay, but if you slice that leftover onion and put on your sandwich, you're asking for trouble. Both the onions and the moist potato in a potato salad will attract and grow bacteria faster.

So, how's that for news? Take it for what you will. I am going to be very careful about my onions from now on.

Please remember it is dangerous to cut onion and use or cook the next day. It becomes highly poisonous for even a single night and creates toxic bacteria which may cause adverse stomach infections because of excess bile secretions and even food poisoning.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Intelligent Counsel............................Good one.

INTELLIGENT COUNSEL............................ - GOOD ONE

While visiting India, George Bush is invited
to tea with Abdul Kalam.

He asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is...........

He says that, it is to surround himself with
intelligent people.

Bush asks how he knows if they're intelligent.

"I do so by asking them the right questions," says
Kalam. "Allow me to demonstrate."

Bush watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says,

"Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question:.....................

Your mother has a child, and your father has a child,
and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

Manmohan immediately responds,................................

"It's me, Sir !"

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye" says Kalam. He hangs
up and says,".................... Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"

Bush nods: "Yes Mr. President. Thanks a lot.

I'll definitely be using that!"


Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put Condoleezza Rice to the test..........................

Bush summons her to the White House and says,.............................

"Condoleezza, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"

Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Rice was puzzled and finally asks, "Can I think about
it and get back to you?" Bush agrees, and Rice leaves.

Rice immediately calls a meeting of senior senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Rice calls...............................

Colin Powell and explains the problem.

"Mr. Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."

Much relieved, Rice rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, ..............................................

"I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! ................................

It's our Colin Powell!"

And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong,......................................
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

it's Manmohan Singh!"

Pistachios.........World's one of the greatest snacks

One of The World's Greatest Snacks -- A Healthy Treat for a Lean Body
Why pistachios not only taste delicious, but are also jam-packed with nutrition for your lean healthy body.........................................


Do you remember eating pistachios when they used to be dyed a deep pinkish/red? They were always so delicious, but after eating a bunch of those bright "red" nuts, your fingers and hands would be stained red.
Pistachios, as we now know, do not grow as magenta-colored nuts but come in a nice natural tan colored shell with a mild-tasting, crunchy, green and yellow interior. Nuts have risen in popularity lately, but did you know that pistachios are probably one of the most nutritious of all nuts?
It's hard to compare anything to the nutritional benefit of nuts like almonds, walnuts, and pecans... but pistachios give them a run for the money!
Just a one-ounce serving of pistachios will give you over thirty vitamins, minerals and other super nutrients.
One of the best things about nuts in general, is that they are full of minerals that are VITAL to our body's proper functioning. And if you have paid much attention to nutrition news lately, you may be aware that minerals are getting harder and harder to obtain from our diet, and many people are mineral-deficient in one way or another.
So what are these great nutrients in pistachios?
Well for starters, pistachios are full of copper, phosphorus, and manganese (different from magnesium).
Copper is made up of multiple enzymes that help to create many of the necessary biochemical reactions in your body and also forms connective tissue. Manganese also helps form connective and skeletal tissue, and is instrumental in growth, reproduction and (this is good!) carbohydrate and fat metabolism. Phosphorus is very important for strong bones and teeth and works with calcium to prevent osteoporosis.
Other important minerals are magnesium -- necessary for more than 300 different important biochemical reactions in your body, and good for your heart and blood pressure; potassium --an electrolyte that keeps the body in the correct acid/base balance and also helps in forming proteins, metabolizing carbohydrates and building muscle.
And there is more to this nutritional powerhouse.. .

Pistachios are a rich source of B vitamins. B vitamins are essential for good nerve transmission, muscle building, a good mood, lots of energy, and infection-fighting power. They are also one of the highest protein nuts (as well as healthy fats), so they make a great satisfying snack that keeps your blood sugar and insulin at a good steady level.
In one study on pistachios and antioxidants, pistachios ranked up in the group with the highest amount of antioxidant activity above over 100 other foods.
Antioxidants help to prevent free radical damage, which saves your cells and prevents aging and disease among other things.
We hear a lot about eye health and nutrients for the eyes lately, and guess what-- pistachios contain generous amount of lutein and zeaxanthin which prevent macular degeneration and other eye diseases related to aging.
Fiber
Last but not least, pistachios are full of appetite satisfying fiber -- as much as a serving of oatmeal.
Nuts in general are a great source of fiber, which is valuable for fighting cancer, controlling blood sugar, and aids in a feeling of fullness. Most people only get about half the recommended amount of fiber they need in their diets, so eating pistachios will help add to your dietary intake.
Healthy Fats
While eating extremely large quantities of pistachios would be a LOT of calories... the good news is that the protein, good fats and fiber in them are nutritious and satisfy so much of the nutrient needs of your body, it's VERY difficult to overeat them.
Even when only eating small servings of these nuts, they have been proven to provide a high rate of satiety. Besides, having to shell all those pistachios actually ends up making you eat them a little more slowly, so the message to your brain that you are full happens on less nuts than if you were eating something already out of its shell.
Try to go for the all-natural or organic pistachios with no salt of low salt. Some brands of pistachios are a bit heavy on the salt.

The Best way of Expressing.............................

The Best way of expressing about friendship.....

Your Heart is your Love,
Your love is your Family ,
Your family is your Future ,
Your future is your Destiny ,

Your destiny is your Ambition
Your ambition is your Aspiration ,
Your aspiration is your Motivation ,
Your motivation is your Belief

Your belief is your Peace ,
Your peace is your Target ,
Your target is your Friends................&
Life is no fun without FRIENDS

It's ' World Best Friends Week' send this
to all your good friends. Even me, if I am one of them. See how many you get back. If you get more than 3 you are really a lovable person.

J.K

Never write an e mail when you are.......................

Never write an email when you’re off the mood or upset........

The Internet – specifically, e-mail—has done wonders to increase our capacity to communicate. With lightening speed, we can now write letters, share ideas and even close deals. The benefits are astonishing.

There’s a downside to e-mail, however, that’s important to be aware of. The problem is, it’s tempting, when you’re mad or upset; to fire off an e-mail that you might very well live to regret.

In a reactive or upset state of mind, or when you’re lacking judgment or perspective, it’s easy to act impulsively rather than with composure and wisdom. In the blink of an eye, you can confuse someone, hurt their feelings, enrage them, or even destroy a relationship.

The good news is, the flip side of this issue is also true. If you’rein upset state of mind at someone and are tempted to share your feelings via e-mail – but you manage to resist – your restraint can pay enormous dividends.

Who knows how many relationships are ruined, or at least adversely affected, every day, by someone clicking “send” instead of simply walking away?

Some practical advice is this: Whenever possible, when you’re upset, refrain from sending e-mails. It’s dangerous territory. Instead, wait until you cool off. In the long run, you’ll maintain good relationships, and avoid unnecessary conflict.


J.K

What's Oxymoron...................Pl read to know

What's Oxymoron?..................Pl read to know

An Oxymoron is usually defined as a phrase in which two words of contradictory meaning are brought together:

Read till end.....


1) Clearly misunderstood

2) Exact Estimate

3) Small Crowd

4) Act Naturally

5) Found Missing

6) Fully Empty

7) Pretty ugly

8) Seriously funny

9) Only choice

10) Original copies

Dark sunshine

Happy depression

Amazing dullness

Cold sun

Living Dead

Dark Light

Cold Summer

Smart Failure

Perfect Human

Investment Property



And the Mother of all..............Wow....................
.
.
.
.
.
.

11) Happily Married !!!!!!!

Perils with your......................LAP TOP.......

" PERILS WITH YOUR LAPTOP "............................C A U T I O N
> >
> >Service to Humanity.....................................
> >
> >
> >
> > Forwarding a news item appeared in a Magazine in the
> > interest of all
> >
> > " When the lap top is on the bed, the area below
> it is blocked and the cooling fan does not get air to cool it, and
> causes fire.One person died of massive carbon monoxide inhalation
> when he slept on the bed with Laptop kept behind, on the
> bed. "
> >
> > The purpose of this "forward" is to make you aware
> that most of us use our lap top in bed and often go to sleep
> with it next to us.Please make it a practice not to do that. The risk is
> very real. Make it a rule not to use the lap top in bed.
> >
> > Life is precious . Please be careful !!
> >
> >
> >
>

Clean Your Kidneys in Less than Re.1.......

CLEAN YOUR KIDNEYS IN LESS THAN Rs 1.00..................

Years pass by and our kidneys are filtering the blood by removing salt, poison and any unwanted entering our body. With time, the salt accumulates and this needs to undergo cleaning treatments and how are we going to overcome this?

It is very easy, first take a bunch of parsley (MALLI Leaves) KOTHIMBIR (DHANIYA) and wash it clean.

Then cut it in small pieces and put it in a pot and pour clean water and boil it for ten minutes and let it cool down and then filter it and pour in a clean bottle and keep it inside refrigerator to cool.

Drink one glass daily and you will notice all salt and other accumulated poison coming out of your kidney by urination also you will be able to notice the difference which you never felt before.

Parsley is known as best cleaning treatment for kidneys and it is natural!

Self Appraisal.................................

Self Appraisal...............................

A little boy went to a telephone booth which was at the cash counter of a store and dialed a number.

The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:

Boy : "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?

Woman : (at the other end of the phone line) "I already have someone to cut my lawn."

Boy : "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price than the person who cuts your lawn now."

Woman : I'm very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn.

Boy : (with more perseverance) "Lady, I'll even sweep the floor and the stairs of your house for free.

Woman : No, thank you.

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.

Store Owner : "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."

Boy : "No thanks,

Store Owner : But you were really pleading for one.

Boy : No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!"

This is called

"Self Appraisal"

The Wooiden Bowl...............

The Wooden Bowl.............& Remeber....What you sow, so you reap.....Sow "The Best Seeds of Relationship" to reap the Best Harvest of Relation ship.


I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now.............and forever.

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year-old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult.. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.


The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. 'We must do something about father,' said the son. 'I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.'
So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.


When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The four-year-old watched it all in silence.


One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor.
He asked the child sweetly, 'What are you making?' Just as sweetly, the boy responded,......................................

'Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up. ' The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.
The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks.. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason,
neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.


On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things:................................

A rainy day,

The elderly,

Lost luggage,

&

Tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as making a 'life.'

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands.You need to be able to throw something back sometimes.

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you.
But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

Please pass this on to everyone you care about. I just did!

May God richly bless you!............................................

AND

“Never take someone for granted. Hold every person close to your heart and inhigh esteem because you might wake up one day and realize that you have lost a diamond, while you were busy collecting stones."

What........................................You Are ?

What.................................You Are.........

You are strong........................

when you take your grief and teach it to smile.

You are Brave.......................

when you over come your fears and help others to do the same.


You are Happy................................

when you see a flower and are thankful for the blessing.



You are Loving..............................

when your own pain does not blind you to the pain of others.



You are wise.....................

when you know the limits of your wisdom.


You are True....................

when you admit there are times you fool yourself.


You are Alive......................

when tomorrow's hope means more to you then yesterday;s mistakes.


You are growing...........................
when you know what you are but not what you will become.


You are Free........................
when you are in control of yourself and do not wish to control others.


You are Honerable.............................

when you find your honor is to find honer others.


You are generous.................................

when you can take as sweetly as you can give.


You are Humble....................

when you do not know how humble you are.


You are thoughtful.. ......................
.
when you see me as just as i am and treat me just as you are.

You are Merciful............................

when you forgive in others the faults you condemn in yourself.


You are Beautiful...........................

when you do not need a mirror to tell you.


You are Rich.......................

when you never need more then whet you have.


You are YOU.....................

when you are at peace with who you are not.

Appreciate Everything..............................

Appreciating Everything.............................


Appreciate those who have hurt you,

because they strengthen your heart.


Appreciate those who deceive you,

because they improve your wisdom.


Appreciate those who slander against you,

because they improve your personality.


Appreciate those who whip you,

because they arouse your will to fight.


Appreciate those who abandon you,

because they teach you independence.



Appreciate those who make you stumble,

because they strengthen your legs.

\

Appreciate those who denounce you,

because they remind you of your shortcomings.
Up UP Up Up......................Think about it.....The word with many many meanings...

Think about it.............."UP"


Read until the end.....you' ll laugh...........

This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is............. 'UP.' It is listed in the
dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky
or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we
wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the
officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a
report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the
silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car.


At other times this little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary.. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it soaks UP the earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on & on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now ........my time is UP !


Oh....one more thing: ....................

What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at
night?

U ......................
P !........


Did that one crack you UP?


Don't screw UP. Send this on to everyone you look UP in your address book..or not...it's UP to you.

Don't forget when your angry at someone it's Up Yours!!!!! AND........


Now .............................................I'll shut UP and Get UP

Laws of Life...............That are Real................

Law's of Life.............................That are real

Law's of life You will realize how true are these after reading fully.......

THE LAWS OF LIFE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Law of Mechanical Repair ....................

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop........................

Any tool, when dropped, will roll or slide to the least accessible location.

Law of Probability ...........................

The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone ........................

If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi............................

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre.

Variation Law ................................

If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath............................

When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters ..........................

The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result ............................

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics ..............................

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to your ability to reach and scratch it.

Law of the Theatre ..........................

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle will arrive last.

Law of Coffee ................................

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers ................................

If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs/Carpets ......................

The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location .........................

No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument .....................

Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law........................

If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law ............................

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson 's Law ...................................

As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.(this one is true every time!)

Doctors' Law ......................

If you don't feel well, make an appointment to see a doctor, and by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll remain sick.

How to Recruit Right Person for the Job..........

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?............................


VERY VERY IMPORTANT TO NOTE..........................................

ALTHOUGH YOU MAY READ THIS IN LIGHTER VEIN,YOU HAVE TO BEVERY CAREFUL AND CAUTIOUS B4 PLACING GUYS FOR THE JOB

Put about 100 bricks in some Particular order in a closed Room with an
Open window.

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.


Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.


If they are counting the Bricks. Put them in the accounts Department.


If they are recounting them.. Put them in auditing .


If they have messed up the Whole place with the bricks. Put them in engineering.


If they are arranging the Bricks in some strange order. Put them in planning.


If they are throwing the Bricks at each other. Put them in operations .


If they are sleeping. Put them in security.


If they have broken the bricks Into pieces. Put them in information
Technology.


If they are sitting idle. Put them in human resources.


If they say they have tried Different combinations, yet Not a brick has
Been moved. Put them in sales.


If they have already left for The day. Put them in marketing.


If they are staring out of the Window. Put them on strategic Planning.


And then last but not least. If they are talking to each Other and not a single brick Has been Moved.


Congratulate them and put them In top management.And be rest assured..........................................that they will certainly


Sroll Down for the result










Topple down THE TOP MOST MANAGEMENT...........THE BOARD

Why Planning is Essential...........................

Planning is essential even to bluff.......

One Night 4 college students were playing till late night and could not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.

In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time. On the third day they appeared before the Dean.. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test... They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.

Q.1. Your Name........ ......... ......... .. (2 MARKS)

Q.2. which tire burst? (98 MARKS)

a) Front Left

b) Front Right

c) Back Left

d) Back Right.....!!!

True story from IIT Bombay ...Batch 1992